One of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite authors and teachers of how to compassionately nurse yourself to health from dieting and binge eating, Geneen Roth, concerns how inspiration from a book, person, or teaching can impact our lives. This inspiration can allow “More space in us for life to unfold so that we don’t have to squeeze our big starry hearts into the psyche of a two- or three- or eight-year old…Allow your big starry heart to open, your jewled being to unfold.” This is from the foreword to the book The Spiritual Dimension of the Enneagram by Sandra Maitri.
I was reminded of this quote as I left my yoga class late this evening and saw a group of people flocking to the new “healthy” fro yo place down the street. My little five-year-old inside said “Oh, please, just let me go get a sample. I deserve it. I worked so hard today.” I threw my yoga mat in the back seat of my car and told that little one inside that it was time to get thee home to bed. The internal temper tantrum was only momentary. As I drove away from the scene of the tantrum I passed one of my favorite shoe stores that also sells unique crafty items. In the window display were those huge hanging star lamps that I have been wanting for years but never get because I think they will make my house look like a dorm room. The star lamps were beautiful and all sorts of colors I had never seen them in before.
The beauty brought me back into the present moment and far away from craving. In the present moment there is no craving. And the gift of the present is always, always available. I felt my big starry heart open this evening as I turned away from the fro yo and acted like an adult for a few moments.
Today I ate 3 apples and 2 bananas (oh, and 3 walnut halves) for breakfast as I did not have greens for my green smoothie I snacked on fruit all morning. My blood sugar never felt stable as a result. Lesson learned.
Had a raw food bar as a snack–did not like this brand. After my late morning bike ride had a salad with balsamic and leftover carrot soup from Monday nt.
For dinner I have caulfilower, tomato, romaine salad with balsamic yet again. Was craving protein so had some sole baked with a bit of butter–really tasty. Topped it off with two kinds of dark chocolate–newman’s own sweet dark and rapunzel. newman’s is much sweeter and I prefer it.
Later had some almond milk, bite of a clif nectar bar, 2 dates, 2T of almond and cashew butter (totally did not need this 2nd desert!)
Will try a new salad dressing and 1 new recipe tomorrow as my meals are already getting way too repititious and one of my intentions for my 21 day detox was to get a new repetoire of meals down. Maybe I will make a warm raw soup in my vitamix if the weather is cool.
I am so grateful for my body today. I got up in a handstand in yoga class yesterday and balanced without the wall for the first time EVER. Miraculous! I used to be an obese teenager, and now everyday I work in a job helping other people lose weight and improve their health–and I can do a handstand to boot. Life is good.
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