the meditation prescription

  

I spent the past 10 days on a silent meditation retreat. It was a beautiful experience. It was the fourth retreat of this type that I have attended.

In the type of meditation I practice, you are asked to observe your physical sensations with a calm and equanimous, detached mind. My first two 10-day meditation retreats were spent observing my severe digestive distress, extreme fatigue (especially after meals), anxiety, fear, obsessive thoughts of self-hatred, obsessive thoughts about food, and obsessive worry about my health and other life issues.

Between my second and third 10-day meditation retreats I figured out I had Celiac Disease and would be committing a gradual suicide if I kept on eating gluten; but I could not stay away from gluten-containing foods for longer the a couple weeks at a time. On this third retreat I think I spent 95% of the time mentally battering myself for my seemingly insane, addict behavior with food. This retreat was in Italy of all gluten-filled places to be trying to kick my habit! But part of my mind was continuously observing, during this retreat and since this time I have made a slow, gradual return to health through diet, yoga, meditation, herbs, supplements, wonderful supportive friends and family, and a brilliant female M.D.

The most awesome thing I realized while on this retreat is that my health is better than it has ever been in my life. Sitting for 10 hours a day in meditation, I sat there and basked in the reality that I am actually a healthy and happy person! Going on these retreats and continuing to practice at home (I admit that the regularity of my home meditation practice leaves much to be desired at times) has enhanced my ability to emotionally detach from food. It has enabled me to stop binge-eating, and it has enabled me to be gluten-free for about two years now, which is no easy task for this gal who goes on auto-pilot towards food with every anxiety provoking thought! My meditation practice has enable me to put a good faith effort into living a healthy lifestyle that requires quite a bit of commitment and good old fashioned hard work. The humbling fact is that I have so much more work to do in the area of detaching emotionally from food…and becoming a more mindful, loving, and compassionate human being.